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I showed up at my gym pool this afternoon ready to go to work. Down in the locker room, I just about had my workout gear together and was about to walk toward the pool to begin when I heard the announcement over the intercom: “The pool is closed due to lightning.†Dang. I never even got wet.
Deciding to wait it out, I perched and let my thoughts run wild. Pools close due to lightning for safety reasons, even though good indoor pools like the one I use are all grounded. Your chances of getting struck by lightning while in the pool are slim to none, yes, even if the pool has windows. But we live in a litigious society and slim to none doesn’t pay the attorneys. So, they close the pool. Usually the closings are brief. Once the lightning gets outside a certain mile radius, they reopen. This is contrary to the popular belief that once it closes it has to stay closed for 30 minutes. I suppose some pools might do this, but the one I go to reopens once the lightning gets outside the radius. I found out the app my gym uses and I installed it on my phone (I highly recommend you do the same). This way, I can get an idea before I go about what the weather might do, and I can keep an eye on the weather maps and know what the staff is looking at while I’m there. And yes, I did that today as well. Thing is, the strategy doesn’t always work.
I have a theory. My theory is that no matter how many millions of dollars they spend on Doppler radars or other equipment, the weather belongs to God. He’s going to laugh at our attempts for the rest of time, while He decides when it’s going to rain, snow, sleet, hail or thunderstorm.
Still, knowledge is power (God is giggling) and it makes me feel like I’m doing something constructive while I wait on the pool to open. And, it’s a great conversation topic with all the other people who come back to the locker room and are waiting on the pool to open. We all become amateur meteorologists, and talk about things like storm vectors and wind chills, heat indices and layers, and “what my phone says.â€. We even try to predict and sometimes bet (nothing) on what time the pool might reopen. And there’s the usual grumpy comments here and there about why they had to close it “right in the middle of….†or “just as I was about to….â€or my own “I didn’t even get wet.â€. These conversations, from an objective point of view, are really funny if you think about it. I mean, we’re this group of average, everyday people with our jobs, our lives, our specialties – most of which do not include meteorology – discussing weather repercussions as if we know what we’re talking about. Oh. My. Who told us we were capable?
In this country where we pump our own gas, check our own oil, clean off our own windshield; scan and bag our own groceries; fix our cars and refrigerators and do handyman jobs around the house by searching the internet for manuals and how-to videos; buy auto parts we put on our cars and parts we install on our appliances – I guess we’ve decided we can be amateur meteorologists too!Â
Continuing to wait, and since everyone in the locker room has decided to leave, I find a different perch outside the locker room, one from which I can see outside. I believe storms are beautiful, except when I’m driving in them. Here, sitting a few feet away from floor-to-ceiling windows, I watch the trees outside, the fierce wind turning their green leaves inside out (a sure sign rain is coming; years ago my Mom told me so), the clouds and the sky becoming darker. Not a good sign for our heroine. Still, I wait. I wonder if anyone from the class is coming today. I’m beginning to wonder why I came today.
Oh yeah, because the blasted weather app said there would only be rain. Lightning strikes were 20 miles out.Â
I check my email and calendar. I have meetings for the next 3 days and a doctor’s appointment. I’m always careful to schedule all of these around my workout, so it is doubly aggravating to know that I could have stayed home and knocked out one of those meetings instead of sitting here looking at them on my calendar.
Anh, whatcha gonna do? I remind myself that if I had stayed home in all probability it wouldn’t be lightning right now and I’d be wondering what the absolute heck I was thinking when I set up the meeting and decided to miss my workout.
Everyone else has left. All the diehards have thrown in their dry towels and headed for home. I’m determined to wait until at least my class time, just to make sure that no one shows up and looks for me.
I’m thinking about a new business opportunity that I have come across. It’s highly recommended, the training has great reviews, and I’ve paid for the initial instruction. Thing is, I don’t understand it. I didn’t pay much for the “training,†and thus far I’m real darn glad I didn’t. It’s a series of videos describing sales cycles and “putting the product out there.†After watching one video and a good deal of reading, I have no idea what the product is that I’m being trained to sell. This goes hard against my core. Sales is part of my background and I’m familiar with sales cycles, both short and long. But I’ve never heard of training that doesn’t include a product. They say if something is free or inexpensive, then you are the product. I’m beginning to feel like I’m being packaged. I don’t mind stepping out, but I don’t like stepping blind. And I don’t want to become part of some multi-level-marketing scheme. Maybe I’ll watch one more video….
I see a lightning flash and the door to the outside bursts open and this guy who was outside rushes in with a look of absolute fear on his face. I couldn’t help myself, I laughed. Then it hits me: my meteorological skills have been a complete failure today. According to the weather app, there’s more bad weather and lightning coming in. The app shows the lightning flashing on the screen dramatically. I double-check this with the staff, along with how far out their app (which is supposed to be the same as mine) shows the lightning. They shake their heads sadly at my pathetic attempts to mentally will the pool back open. It’s now time for my class and no one has shown up for it. I toss in my dry towel and head for home, determined to try again tomorrow.
And God’s laughter booms like thunder.
See ya’ in the water!
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